Okay this is the first time in a while that I have actually had the night to relax. I don't have to have to rust to work or to class, no, now I can just sit and watch whatever on the TV. Sometimes I tell myself that today will be the day I will just quit my job and then I wont have to worry about it affecting my school and study schedule. But right after that thought I think about if I would even really use that time productively.
I know I wouldn't. So sometimes it feels like I am just going through the motions. Like I am not using all my potential. I don't want to wake up 20 years from now thinking that I have done nothing worth while in my life. I mean I don't think that I have to cure cancer for my life to be worth while, but I just think that there must be something that makes this all worth while,
you know.
And this is where I will sound stupid or ignorant of real life, but ever since I was little there has been a small part of me where I wish that maybe I could like trade lives with somebody else who has a harder life then me. So like if I can overcome it, then my life would have a purpose... or something. Like no matter what happens then at least you have accomplished something. But now that I think about it, it almost seems like if that was the case then I would not have to take the risk of failing or succeeding at something major.
But maybe I am looking at this the wrong way. This gives me the chance to accomplish a major achievement. What that is, I am not sure yet.
i know how you feel . sometimes we get into this daily routine and feel like our life isnt amounting to anything. purposelessness is my greatest kryptonite! try to focus on the list of things that you are doing now that will greatly improve your life and your health and happiness later in years. youre getting a college degree, saving money for your future. you got to get a new bike! and that's something you love. you are competing in a bike race and a marathon! both things that contribute to your immediate happiness, give you goals to reach, and will keep you healthy in the long run! MAYBE you could find a job working at a bike shack or some kind ofplace that caters to your hobbies too! money and hobby! lol just an idea. keep your head up! every day that you wake up and spend time with friends or accomplish one day atschool towards future goals, you have accomplished a major achievemnet!
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